The universe will always give you exactly what you need…
When I set my original intentions for 2019, I imagined a thriving business, one that has a huge impact on the world and truly helps other people to live their highest potential. In return, I wanted to feel prosperous and abundant. I wanted to travel and I wanted my boyfriend to be able to leave his full-time job and focus on his music. I wanted beautiful, loving relationships with my friends and family and I wanted to feel safe and peaceful and oh so loved. I wanted true freedom.
When I look back over this past year, I see that in many ways I got exactly what I’d asked for. Not exactly in the ways I’d thought or envisaged(!), but I certainly got what I needed. Of course, because I don’t believe the universe makes mistakes. I believe we’re all being guided and led, even when it REALLY doesn’t feel like it. Perhaps especially then. And honestly, it really hasn’t felt like it at times this year for me!
The often missed step in getting what we want…
My coach Sammie talked this morning, on our final call of the year together, about how so often we decide what we want, and then we jump straight into creation mode. We leapfrog straight to the question: ‘how can I get this thing?’. But there’s a step in between those that we often miss. That step looks like asking: ‘what needs to be released or reframed in order for me to have this thing that I really want?’.
2019 has felt like an extended stay within step 2 energy for me. When I clearly declared to the universe what I wanted at the beginning of 2019, it took me straight to where I needed to be to get there. It took me to the deep, dark, scorpionic places within myself and asked me to begin to clear everything that was hiding in there (honestly it feels like no stone has been left unturned! You too?)
It asked me to do the inner work required to clear what needed to be cleared in order to have those things I most wanted in the world. And that process has taken the entire year. I don’t believe we have to struggle to have what we want, but we do have to be willing to be taken to our depths, because of course, that is where the gold truly lies. Deep, deep down, inside you all along.
Surrender, and then surrender some more – you are being given what you asked for…
It’s fascinating to me that in the order I follow, 2019 has been the year of ‘the hanged man’ in the tarot. Biddy tarot describes the energy of this card and archetype beautifully…
‘He’s hanging upside-down, viewing the world from a completely different perspective, his facial expression is calm and serene, suggesting that he is in this hanging position by his own choice. He has a halo around his head, symbolising new insight, awareness, and enlightenment’
That feels so true and relevant to my experiences. Being suspended. Asked to stay and be present with what is, even when it’s felt uncomfortable, knowing that I chose this path. I asked for these things, and this is the route. I speak on it now with the peace and ease that always comes with hindsight, but I can assure you I haven’t been quite so serene during the process itself!
Since my last post, ‘The Good, The Bad and the Downright Ugly Story of My Entrepreneurial Journey So Far’, I’ve been touched by the conversations I’ve had with the women who read it. I know that for many, particularly those who’ve been running their business for a while, it made for emotional reading, and I want to thank you for opening up to me whether that be on social media, by email or just energetically. You are such a light in this world and the work you do (including how you do it) really matters.
I now want to share more about what I’ve learned this year, how I run my business now and the things that have made the biggest difference in not only the actual success of it, but my enjoyment of it too. Because I want that for you. I want you to be doing your soul work, resting as much as you need and making money. I want you to know that not only is it possible, it’s possible for you.
The ideas I’ll be sharing here may seem very simple.
And they are.
They’re also things you may have heard before. But there’s a big difference between knowing something on an intellectual level, and truly knowing them in your bones so you can actually live by them. I ‘knew’ all of this stuff before I started my business, but if I’m honest, I wasn’t really putting them into practice, and then I was beating myself up about that or complaining that nothing worked. So please, read with an open heart and mind, and give yourself the gift of asking – am I truly living this right now or is there a level deeper that I could allow myself to sink into?
In order to ‘be yourself’ you might have to learn how to heal yourself and love yourself first.
I could tell you that the answer to a successful life or business is as simple as this: be yourself. It’s a statement of absolute truth.
But even so, if you’ve spent years avoiding being your true self and instead have built up layers, walls and identities to protect yourself (like I, and many other naturally intuitive, sensitive beings do in order to feel safe in this world), then the work it takes to be able to live fully within and surrender to this truth now might be deep and long (the entirety of 2019 for me apparently!). The inner work necessary to be able to do something as simple as ‘be yourself’ will vary for each individual.
For me, it looked like extended dives into my past. It’s looked like facing those things I didn’t want to look at.
Like how much my relationship to money was tied up and tangled in with my relationship to my Father, and that being ready to receive required deep healing of my inner child who desperately wanted her Dad’s attention.
Unravelling and understanding how I came to be who I am, with all of my unique thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors, I’ve been asked by the divine time and time again to bring each one of those out into the light and ask, do I really want to keep this? Is this really serving me? Is this who I want to be now? What would support me more than this?
This type of personal exploration takes time and the resistance will be REAL AF, but if you can go there – and I absolutely believe that you can – then you will 100% reap the rewards in so many areas of your life.
Here’s an example of a decision I made as a result of my not being comfortable in just being me…
I made video my primary method of communication within my business.
I did SO MANY videos because I believed that’s what I had to do in order to be successful.
At one point I was speaking ‘face to camera’ every day on Instagram. And I did that for months at a time, rarely missing a day. I also made a YouTube channel and recorded regular IGTV videos. It was totally exhausting and when I look back now it’s so clear that I wasn’t trusting or acknowledging my true gifts at all. I was doing what seemed like the most ‘logical’ thing rather than that things that felt amazing to me.
(side note – if your only business or life strategy is to do what feels amazing to you over and over again, every step of the way – that will be more than enough!).
Now, I’m acknowledging that I’m actually more of a writer. I resisted it for a long time and eventually discovered the root cause of why; I’d been holding a belief that originated in my teenage years that I wasn’t a good writer.
Lot’s of emotional clearing work and ‘inner teen’ healing later, I’m now embracing my true skills. I’m learning to love and embrace the fact that I’m naturally quiet. Reflective. I love to journal and discover myself through that medium. I’m naturally slower and the flashy stuff and videos actually fry my nervous system to the point of not being able to think clearly.
We all have unique gifts and ways of being.
You have a gift that is completely unique and special and SO needed. You really, really, really do.
So, are there things that need to happen for you to become more YOU than ever before? What needs to fall away, even if it seems like the ‘logical’ thing to do? Delving into these questions will help you run your business successfully more than someone else’s strategies ever could.
Let’s talk about (self) love, baby.
Ahhh self-love. If you don’t truly, madly, deeply love and accept yourself, your REAL self, then it’s impossible to truly ‘be yourself’ in your business and/or life. If you don’t fully love yourself, you’ll be unable to trust that you can have what you want, just by being you (and you can – brownie promise).
There was a period of time (and it felt like forever) where my business just wasn’t really making any money. I felt crushed and I wondered why and what I was doing so wrong. But the real reasons weren’t anything to do with my abilities, my marketing or anything else on a ‘rational’ level. There were much deeper reasons. Reasons my soul came here to learn and heal. For example:
- I had to learn how to feel worthy of receiving.
- I had to break a family and ancestral pattern of self-criticism.
- I had to heal my inner child, love her and invite her to come home to me.
This is the work. And this work is deep.
Your healing will be 100% unique to you, but I can pretty much guarantee that the things that will really create the change you’re looking for in life are internal rather than external.
What if nobody likes me?
Of course, there’s risk involved in being truly, deeply YOURSELF. And it often looks like this: What if I’m my true self, exactly as I am, and nobody likes me?
This is where the healing comes in. Finding your triggers, understanding why you think and feel the way you do and then receiving healing in those areas IS the answer to truly loving and accepting yourself.
When you do that, you’re suddenly okay with not being something for everyone, and that changes everything. This is not a quick fix. This is deep, soul level, karma clearing healing, and that kinda thing takes time. It’s okay to take your own sweet time.
So, ask yourself, is there some work I need to do to be able to fully be me in all areas of my life? You’ll already know what it is, even if it feels kinda edgy and scary to acknowledge.
Just know, you are courageous and strong and your future self will thank you for it. There’s no shame in needing help with this stuff. I worked with a coach for almost the whole of 2019 because I needed that support. It was a true act of self-love to give that to myself.
Please get support with this if you need it. I have coaching packages that can guide you through this journey and I’d love to support you if you’re feeling called to do this deep work – it’s my fave.
Release the idea that doing = getting
We live in a world that functions on linear progress and the idea that we can force, influence or control the universe. This insatiable ego desire for controlling what’s happening can feel so ingrained in us that it’s difficult to even conceive of the idea that there’s a different way (spoken by a recovering control freak!).
Coaching, broken down to its bare bones, can essentially come down to a simple 2-part question: ‘What is it you really want and what are the things you need to do to create what it is that you want?’. Don’t get me wrong, there is incredible beauty and wisdom in this question and answering it can change someone’s life. But there’s a small, yet distinct, difference in how I approach this work in my own life and business now:
YES to creating visions of what we really want. I’m all about the dreamy visioning and I have Pinterest boards that go on for days…
YES to doing the deep healing and clearing work to align with these beautiful realities we create in our mind’s eye.
YES to changing habits and behaviours whilst being super kind and learning to deeply love and accept ourselves.
But HELL NO to the idea that we are the ones who can create (or control) it all. To me, that feels like a massive, heavy, pressure-inducing BURDEN that I, for one, am done with carrying.
Universe – you can have it all back thank you very much!
Is this what true freedom feels like?
We get to do what we can and then we get to let it go. (and yes I’m singing Elsa in my head now too).
How much more empowering does it feel to release your attachments and tune into the deepest sense of relief and inner peace that comes with cultivating true faith in the process? When you live like this, you get to enjoy life and feel safe and held and loved right now, right in this moment, even without all of your desires being granted yet. To me, that feels like true FREEDOM!
Sometimes the soul is here, in this life, in this body, to have an experience beyond our comprehension. I’ve been reading an amazing book recently that explains this so beautifully (watch out for my 2020 book recommendations post in January for more on that), and these are the questions it’s leading me to ask myself:
What if there’s a good reason that things aren’t always working out exactly as we planned?
What if there is deeper learning required for soul growth than what we’d learn by getting exactly what our egos want, whenever we want it?
What if everything is actually happening in the perfect, divine timing and we can trust that all of our needs will be met?
Releasing the sense of doing and pushing and striving and grasping has felt like a deep exhale for me personally.
Working with your true feminine nature
The practical application of this idea in my life has created a very different working week than before.
I rest more, without guilt.
I trust that if I don’t force myself to work when I’m not inspired, then greater inspiration will come.
I’m working with, rather than against, the natural flow and rhythm of life and it feels SO good!
This is what it means to me to work in accordance with and alignment with my feminine nature. Not just as a marketing tagline because it’s fashionable, but because it truly feels good to my soul and I’m unwilling to do this work any way other than with TRUE authenticity.
I see so many people (and I was one of them at one point) who talk about the divine feminine way of life and business, of being in touch with ‘the flow’ of life, who underneath are furiously paddling their legs to keep their heads above the water!
No judgment here if that’s you, but if you’re thinking you’ll just do that for a while until you’re earning enough money perhaps and then you’ll relax, then I’m here to tell you now – it doesn’t work that way and it doesn’t have to be that way.
The energy and intention that we put out is indeed what is coming back to us. Why not start running your business or life in the way you dream for it to be ‘one day’? This is a sustainable way to live your life and run your business. It might take a little longer, but you won’t be a flash in the pan who burns out after 12 months and has to stop altogether (yes that was me too).
Overall 2019 has felt like a year of clearing the pathways to make space for the new, showing me the true results of deep inner healing, learning resilience, trust and surrender and so many other lessons too.
So lovely, I hope there have been some moments of recognition, of feeling seen, perhaps an ‘aha’ moment or two, or just a sense of relief or peace as you’ve read these words. Thank you so much for being here.
With so much love,
P.S. I’m currently inviting a small group of women who want to be leaders of these new ways of creating, working and living into an intimate 9 month group experience guiding you to step into higher levels of consciousness. It’s called Ancient Wisdom, Modern Woman and I am so humbled that this work chose to come through me. Find out more here.
Emma Rose is a spiritual teacher, coach and guide who helps stressed out, self-doubting women to complete karmic cycles, fall wildly in love with themselves and do the work their soul came here to do so they can finally experience the full joy and freedom of being an aligned, purpose-driven and soul-connected human – from the inside, out.
Results may include; crystal clear clarity on your vision & purpose, opportunities and initiations to step deeper into the work you’re *really* here to do and falling head over heels in love with your messy-beautiful human self.
Find out more and apply to work together here.