My art teacher used to tell me that a great artist would only be painting 10-15% of the time when creating their work. The rest of the time, they would be studying the subject. Viewing it from different angles. Noticing its form and its intricacies.
Art is about seeing what’s there, but also about seeing what isn’t as obvious. It’s finding the hidden meaning. The symbols. The messages. The essence. It’s seeing all of the layers and the individual brush strokes, yet making sense of them as a complete form. It’s understanding how certain things, no matter how big or how small, can have a profound impact on the whole.
I believe it’s my ability to clearly SEE that fuelled my love of art. I believed I would grow up to be an artist. But where an artists main focus is expression, mine always has been and forever remains on the seeing.
This gift of truly seeing is what allows me to access the level of depth and transformation I generate and co-create within my work today. When I centre my focus on a willing individual, I see things that aren’t apparent or obvious to others, or even to themselves. I make connections between the things they tell me and I weave them together into explosive realisations that change their understanding of themselves and their lives. These discoveries often challenge one’s sense of self, beliefs and thoughts to the point where the old them ceases to exist. They literally cannot stay the same.
This changing of form often brings rise to fear. Fear is a common passenger on the spiralling journey of the soul having a human experience. It’s last ditch attempts to hold onto the old, known ways of being are risen to the surface. Time and time again. For the person having the experience this can feel incredibly challenging. It is challenging because it feels like death. And that is terrifying for a human psyche that’s hardwired for survival. Even the word death can leave us feeling uneasy. But this is merely the death of a part of the person that has been holding them back. Making them believe they are not good enough. Or worthy enough. Or some other un-truth that has invaded their hopes and dreams.
And so, as it rises to the surface it feels terrifying. Perhaps we are looking at it directly for the very first time after years of avoidance. This process is one that is inevitable prior to release. It is felt the most in the moments beforehand.
It’s release leaves an empty space where it once was. This space feels a little like being lost. We are unclear where to turn to from here. We have no blueprint. No map. Our old ways are no longer available to us, yet we do not have the new ones.
I’ve accidentally undertaken this process, alone, many times in the past decade. Without the knowledge or the wisdom that this is what was happening. And they were dark times for me. I wondered if I was going crazy. I thought I was depressed. I had no concept of what was happening to me, or why, and it felt like being on a rollercoaster with no hope of getting off.
There were times that I decided to turn away, keep hold of my beliefs and my coping mechanisms rather than releasing them. I wasn’t ready and I hadn’t yet cultivated the deep levels of spiritual surrender and trust that I practice today. But there were other times where I somehow managed to make it through and out of the other side.
On this spiral path our opportunities for healing come back around again and again many times over our lifetime. We are never, ever back where we started. We are always a level up, a little bit more ready, perhaps more resourced or supported and we have gathered wisdom and knowledge along the way, like picking flowers from the curves of the path that have delivered us back around again.
Many years ago, I attended a workshop in London with the author or Light Is The New Black and Rise Sister Rise, Rebecca Campbell. I don’t remember much about the specifics of that day now, but I still have the quote card that I picked out of a black velvet bag as I left.
It reads; ‘I release the need to control every outcome’.
Spiritual surrender and unconditional trust is the release of control. When we try to control our destiny, or anything in our lives, we fight the flow of the divine. We swim upstream, believing the answers are there, believing that finding them has to be a struggle, when really if we just let go we would be gently and safely delivered to where we most want and need to be for our highest good and our souls evolution.
But we fight. Oh we fight.
A powerful question to ask yourself is, how much do I believe? Not in magic. Not in angels or God or the Universe. But how much do I believe in myself? Because it is really one and the same. As above, so below. How much we believe in ourselves is a direct reflection of how much we believe in these external powers to help free us from suffering and guide us to a higher plane of consciousness.
It really is all the same. So if we do not believe in ourselves, then we do not believe in anything. Our beliefs create our experiences, and hence, our lives.
So much of my own personal work in this lifetime so far has been about cultivating, remembering and living in the truth of my own worth. It is a huge part of the work others are doing too at this time, and so I find that they gravitate towards me. So many times my clients tell me that they just ‘know’ they are meant to work with me. They cannot explain it. But I believe it’s because I am a reflection of them. They recognise something within me that is also within them. Often this is an unconscious knowing. It’s fascinating to me how much growth can occur just by holding up a metaphorical mirror to someone. Especially when delivered in mutable way.
What I mean by mutable, is that I shapeshift to deliver exactly what is needed at any one time, for the highest good of all involved. It means that if the most gentle, nurturing delivery is required, then that is what will happen. But if a more challenging (always with love) stance is required, then so be it. I allow my soul and higher self to work through me, delivering what is, moment by moment. This is what unconditional trust looks like. I love to practice it with my clients, and have them practice it with me.
I believe that part of the healing, especially for women, is in allowing ourselves to be fully vulnerable with another woman. When a woman sits in front of me and allows me to fully see her – the sad parts, the parts she’s ashamed of, the parts she usually keeps well hidden and protected – there is already a transformation happening. When I look at them as a whole, and still love them, they are reminded on a subconscious level, that it is okay to love all parts of themselves too. And that changes everything. Truly.